Tuna from a mermaid, deep loving sigh.

‘Sirena Tuna’ available in Australia has been covered by the OU in America for the past few years. However, in shocking news ‘OU’ has decided to withdraw their hecsher. When approached Rabbi Eli Gutenburg of the ‘OU’ kashrut division stated that any good standing kashrut authority would not cover such tuna simply because of the non-tznius image on the top of the tuna.

The spokesman for Sirena tuna, David Huxley responded, “that the image is stepped in tradition and mysticism. We do not question your Jewish customs and nitpicking behavior into our cooking and packaging process so not question our image and secondly halachikly all that is considered erva is covered.” This last remark took the Jewish world by surprise due to the fact that Mr Huxley is an atheist, subsequently the assumption being that he did not understand religion let alone halacha.

The chief rabbi of ‘Kosher Australia,’ Rabbi Yaakov Weissgarden has deemed ‘Sirena Tuna’ not to be kosher because of the misleading packaging. Rabbi Weissgarden claimed that simple Jews might think that the tuna, which they are eating, comes from a mermaid that has never, throughout history, been kosher. This, in Rabbi Weissgarden’s opinion would cause the majority of Jews who do not have expert knowledge of kashrut to buy mermaid meat that is unquestionably trief.

Rabbi Weissgarden has also pointed to the Trade Practices Act 1978 section 52, misleading and deceptive conduct. Many have disregarded this argument as another rabbi touching on subject matter out of area of expertise in an attempt to prove his point. 

Some might call this an advertisement

I have been criticized for not disseminating Torah on this blog. I am often told that I have disenfranchised certain people from religious Judaism. This has now changed.

A number of people created a website, albeit clean and appropriate, for the one and only Rabbi James Kennard, www.rabbikennard.com. I recommend his shiurim and commend him on the work he has done for Mt Scopus, the community and Bnei Akiva.

I wonder how long it will take for other Rabbis in various communities to create their own websites. In my opinion, it's only a matter of time.    

Please Hashem, I do all the correct sgulot with kavanah and yet I am still single, please help. On the other hand, maybe I’m not davening hard enough.

Recently I have noticed an increase of girls changing their Facebook profile pictures from individual shots of themselves to photos of themselves with either brides on their wedding day or newlyweds. At first I thought this was a standard change, as in a regular photo change to include a new friend or a salute to an old one. However, after some research into this phenomenon I realized that there was more behind it.

Numerous sgulaot regarding marriage have become popular over the past few years.

Akin to the practice of dipping one's fingers into the post extinguishment wine and dabbing it over the eyes (for healthy vision), the forehead (for seichel, wisdom) or the pockets (for parnassa, livelihood), a single girl dips her fingertip into the wine and dabs in on her left ring finger, in the hopes that it will be a segulah that a real ring should find its way there soon.

A more popular sgulah is where girls and a number of boys do not sit at the corner of the table or they will stay single forever.

The sgulot do not end there. Now, if one changes their facebook profile picture to include a bride or newlywed, marriage will occur within the year. This ‘sgulah’ has caused much division and animosity within the orthodox world.

Rabbi Yitzchok Meir Zeiglewasser, writes that because Internet and computers are assur min hatoroh it is impossible for the Facebook profile picture to be a sgulah, rather it is an avairah which would subsequently end up in a life of singlehood, “rather a child not be brought into the world, than a child brought up in the home of Facebook.”

In response to this Mark Zuckerberg sued.

The old adage sums the issue of sgulot up nicely. A man who had trouble in his marriage, complained to his rabbi: "It says that folding the tallit immediately after havdalah is a sgulah for shalom bayit. I always do it, yet, it does not help." The rabbi answered: " I have a better sgulah for you. After havdalah, roll up your sleeves and go wash the dishes." 

artscroll...

This came up when I typed in 'ArtScroll' on 'Google Images'. I
had to stay faithful.

The following is a run down of all the ArtScroll Rebbe biographies.

(Gadol X) came from a lineage of (state yichus), finished Tanach by the time he was (number under 6), mishnayos by the time he was (under 8), shas by the time he was (under 12), already caught the attention of (gedolim A,B,C ad nauseum) by the time he was bar mitzvahed, already writing teshovot by the time he was (under 15), married off to the daughter of (one of gedolim).

It is the same story rehashed. The basic difference between, say, Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky, The Steipler Ga’on, and Rav Moshe Feinstein according to ArtScroll is the details of where they were born, the specific yichus they had, what yeshiva they learned in, what community they served, and what family they married in to. Otherwise, same story. In real life, all three of the examples above had different personalities and lives, not to mention challenges.

You cannot forget...that (gadol X) would make a bracha before nursing and gave the dvar Torah at his own bris.

(This was adapted from the comments on www.frumsatire.net)

Shulchan Aruch HaChadash

I have decided to re-publish the Shulchan Aruch. It sounds unnecessary since the Haredim already have a monopoly on the publication of religious books, however I can offer something they cannot, a haskomoh which embraces modernity and gives over a relevant message. When one opens the this new publication of the Shulchan Aruch the song 'The Times they are a-Changin' by Bob Dylan will play. 

An adapted version of the lyrics are below.

Come gather ’round people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the Torah

Around you have grown

And accept it that soon

You’ll be drenched to the bone

If your Torah to you is worth savin’

Then you better start changin’ or you’ll fry out like a blaze

For the times they are a-changin’

Come rabbis and scholars

Who prophesize with your pen

And keep your eyes wide

The chance won’t come again

And don’t speak too soon

For the wheel’s still in spin

And there’s no tellin’ who that it’s namin’

For the loser now will be later to win

For the times they are a-changin’

Come students, teachers

Please heed the call

Don’t stand in the doorway

Don’t block up the hall

For he that gets hurt

Will be he who has stalled

There’s a battle outside and it is ragin’

It’ll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls

For the times they are a-changin’

Come zaide and booba

Throughout the land

And don’t criticize

What you can’t understand

Your sons and your daughters

Are beyond your command

Your old road is rapidly agin’

Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin’

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order is rapidly fadin’

And the first one now will later be last

For the times they are a-changin’

I understand this is dangerous ground, nevertheless if halacha does not continue to grow and adapt many of the youth will become disenfranchised and fail to see the beauty of Judaism.